Staff Picks

 
Self Portrait   Sean Dimitrie, 65.2%

Self Portrait   Sean Dimitrie, 65.2%

That feeling when you’re waiting for your Tinder brunch date in the post-Trump era and are furiously googling “what is fourth wave feminism?” just so you have your bases covered.

Doug Haddow

 
Jake Lewis   OliverMann, 71.7%

Jake Lewis   OliverMann, 71.7%

Call me old-fashioned but I think bullying is an important part of human culture. People don’t end up looking as cool as this guy by accident. I doubt he had tattoos on his hands when he was in elementary school. No, he was probably a normie, like the rest of us. If it weren’t for the ceaseless cruelty of some maladjusted child in third grade it’s unlikely this gentleman could have developed the courage or individuality to become so fully self-actualized. A beard like that doesn’t grow itself.

Sam Kerr

 
Marceline on Polaroid    Dave Dee, 62.7%

Marceline on Polaroid    Dave Dee, 62.7%

Posing recently dead relatives for commemorative photos was a thing in Victorian England. Super weird. And all I want to know about this girl is whose arm is that?

David Stansfield

 
Stop Ali Shaw, 57.4%

Stop Ali Shaw, 57.4%

“Sorry, we’ve got to redo the photo. You covered the McCain’s frozen punch with
snow again.”

Trevor Risk

 
Vienna Romalis Thomas Bullock, 69.4%

Vienna Romalis Thomas Bullock, 69.4%

I had a friend who moved to Korea to become a male model when he was 19. After six months of failing to find real modeling work he took a job on a Korean game show. They dressed him up like a video game superhero and made him chase game show contestants around an obstacle course with a gun that shot tennis balls. I get the feeling that if he had a Korean video game superhero girlfriend she would look like this girl. 

Sam Kerr

 
Nick Zator, 71.5%

Nick Zator, 71.5%

There were layoffs at the Vancouver Sun and Province recently. It’s a terrible thing. Journalism is a vital element of a functioning liberal democracy. We are all poorer when fewer journalists are reporting on our city. Having said that, it’s no reason to jump off the Lions Gate Bridge. I mean, a beautiful woman is toying with her hair and staring at you. Climb back over the guardrail. Suicide isn’t the answer. 

Billy Bowyer

 
Moody   Brianna Johnson, 55.5%

Moody   Brianna Johnson, 55.5%

I’ve always been a fan of girls who build their personal brand in the mold of Björk. You just know this member of Tilda Swinton’s squad knows how to party. “Oh, Tilda and I had THE most DIVINE evening—we spoke to each other entirely through gramophones and ate kumquats off traditional Bedouin swords”. That, or they watched Road House and ran a train on a Costco family pack of Doritos Sweet Chili Heat. I bet her boyfriend looks like Jeff Goldblum. 

Dusty Baker