I was watching Netflix and I stumbled across The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. It’s weird because he’s the most relaxed person I’ve ever seen on television yet he used to be a drill sergeant in the American military. His job was yelling at people. Anyway, if Bob Ross were to paint this woman, he would use a paper towel and foam brush with alizarin crimson and yellow ochre for texture. And why don’t we just put a happy little tree over here while we’re at it.
I would bet $1000 that she doesn’t own that hat. I’m not saying it doesn’t look great on her in the context of this photo, but there’s no way a girl that cool owns a pink dad hat. It doesn’t even fit her head. Plus, pink and red clashes. You’re not fooling anyone.
This woman is holding a pinecone and it looks great. It’s no wonder that advertising uses pretty women to sell things. I’d buy that pinecone. As a thought experiment, what’s the worst thing she could be holding without ruining the photograph? A diaper? A dead animal? Donald Trump’s severed head? The fact that the pinecone doesn’t ruin this image is a photographic achievement. Bravo.
This may seem like a staff pick but it’s actually guerilla marketing for Robson Sports. Their messaging is next level. They sell Jerseys! Hoodies! Caps! and Toques! as you can see in the tiny, crappy white poster beside this woman. Ignore the fact that she’s standing on her tip toes for no good reason and shop for your sporting needs at Robson Sports!
So I heard this person is famous. Apparently she’s Madison on a show called UnReal. I’ve never seen it but people tell me it’s excellent. I’m happy for her too. Vancouver is a good place for famous people. I was at the Stone Temple Cabaret on that night in the 90s when Ben Affleck rolled in like William Longpenis and started hitting on teenagers. A brush with greatness. That same night he cheated on Jennifer Lopez with a stripper from Brandi’s and it ended his marriage. I don’t know if he’s done something to fix his head since but he was wearing a hairpiece that night, no fucking lie.
What has two thumbs, enjoys great photography, and can’t get ever enough of delicious spaghetti?