It’s a shame that the first rule of Burning Man is nothing like the first rule of Fight Club.
Last issue I took a stand against the appropriation of ginger culture by the Kiwi guy who plays Archie on Riverdale. He’s not ginger. Well, I’m ready to take another stand. I went for dinner at Dark Table last week. It was excellent. Eating food in complete darkness is an incredible sensory experience. As we left the restaurant I learned that our server was blind, and then I realized that the entire dark dining experience was appropriation of blind culture. It’s basically black face but for the visually impaired. My children will probably be ashamed.
It’s difficult to write jokes about beautiful women. When it’s a handsome dude I can give myself a conspicuous case of the ‘not-gays’ and then load the comment with awkward sexual tension. But if I do something similar about a babe it comes off as pervy and weird. I don’t know. Maybe I should just make a joke about how Kim Jong-un called Donald Trump a dotard. Dotard is a funny?
If this guy were a character in a movie from the 80s he’d be an oracle of ancient wisdom who might offer you a monkey’s paw or bag of dried seahorses, and you’d better take what he gives you because it’s your only chance against Lo Pan.
Since starting Archive we’ve learned some interesting stuff about the kind of photography people like. For example, photos of women standing in front of bushes are immensely popular. Check the inside front and back covers of this issue. They’re everywhere. I don’t know why but a woman in front of a bush works like an Archive cheat code.
Cosplay is a fun way to show affinity for the Marvel Cinematic Universe. But if you’re a real fan and you want to show real commitment to the Asgardian God of Mischief you get his name inked onto your chest for life. That tattoo says Loki, right?
It’s a good thing I’m not that handsome because I’d use his powers for evil. Imagine what that must feel like to be that good looking. Intoxicating. I’ve got a clearly established case of the ‘not-gays’ and I’d leave my wife to run away with him tomorrow. Look, I know it’s overly simplistic to judge a person based solely on their looks but he should be the Prime Minister of Canada.
There was a gathering of Juggalos in Washington, DC recently called the Million Man March, which was weird because there was a different Million Man March in 1995 organized by Louis Farrakhan and the Nation of Islam. Anyway, the Juggalos were protesting because they’ve been classified as organized crime syndicate by the FBI. A reporter on the scene interviewed a guy named Hootsnake who defended the Juggalos against the FBI’s accusation by saying they were too disorganized to be organized crime. I also learned female Juggalos are called Juggalettes.